Welcome to our first blog of the semester. Remember this is where we speak about any issues that we encounter that have to due with gender. You are required to set up your own personal blog this week. Begin creating a contact list of your classmates as well. Remember to always copy me on all your posts and replies so that I can monitor your contributions. So let's begin...
This past weekend I had a yard sale. Time to do my spring cleaning!! I made some interesting observations as strangers arrived at my home to browse. Many of the people brought little children with them. When the parents were looking through items and asking questions, the kids were playing with my kids' old toys that were being sold. When the parents noticed, they would comment to their children. I found some of these comments fascinating. For example, if a young girl was playing with toy cars, the parent would comment, "You don't need that." Yet minutes later they would exclaim "Look at this cute doll! Would you like to get this?" Interestingly enough, similar comments were directed at young boys. For example, "Look at the skateboard!" or "Did you see this guitar?" Why, I thought, were the boys not offered the dolls or the girls the cars?
I, myself, have three boys (ages 15, 13, and 9) and a girl (age 9). I think back to the way that I raised them when they were very small. How much did I follow society's trend?
What do you think about this? Do the toys that we play with as children have an impact upon our growth from a gender perspective? Since parents buy the toys, what about the impression that is left from their choices? How about the way that these toys are marketed to parents and children? What role does the media play in defining gender roles? Do you have children that you can personally relate this experience to? Or how about younger siblings, nieces, nephews or cousins? Take notice of the way that we react to their choices. These little people teach us a lot about the impact that we have as role models and the way we contribute to shaping society!
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I believe it all comes down to fear and security. Parents want to steer their child in a specific direction and, since at a young age toys are often a kid's first friends, then a parent wants to make sure their boy or girl is hanging out with the appropriate friends. In this case, the superimposing of toy purchases fulfills a sort of homophobic, societal/cultural duty of tradition that ensures a lucid steering toward a specific gender and its respective proper behavor. This really is just speaking of the majority and not the whole of population, of course.
ReplyDeleteIt does indeed hinder a child's choice to have what pleases them, but after all we as parents will always have the need to decide what is best for our son or daughter.
The marketing can be gender-biased when television commercials or other advertisements strictly portray boys playing with action figures or girls only with Barbies, for instance. That in itself plays a large role in what parents confide in as a guideline for purchases. The media will often clearly paint the gender lines either blue or pink depending on who they think their target audience will be. Is this just good social advertising, third party child-rearing, or perhaps even a little of both?
Like many traditional American male children I was always steered toward the action figures, footballs and hockey pucks (most notable male sports) from an early age yet past the androgynous Fisher Price toddler toys. Even with my nephews, I see my brother stubbornly and with conviction filtering his kids' play things so that they foster a direct male path. In our majority society of the heterosexual, traditionally gender outlined masses, this innate desire to choose our children's paths for them and according to traditional values is in our nature.
I definitely think that the marketing of toys is biased when it comes to whether they would be best suited for boys or girls. Watch nickelodeon or Disney channel for 10 minutes and you will see five different commercials each on advertising for a toy if the toy is race cars or nerf guns all the kids in the commercial will be boys and more than likely all the colors will be anything but pink, if the commercial is dolls all the kids will be girls and the commercial will involve nothing but the colors pink and purple. When I was growing up I didn’t want anything to do with dolls I wanted the race cars, nerf guns, and motorcycles. Most parents would have a problem with me wanting to play with those types of things but mine allowed me to play with what I wanted. I grew up a tom boy and to this day I am still a tom boy. While I still love to get my hand dirty and ride dirt bikes I still like to act and dress like a girl when im out on the town. Allowing me to express myself through toys and motocross as a kid has made me who I am today. I do believe that the toys that we have as kids does affect the way they grow up in many ways but I don’t think that we should control the things that our kids want to play with just to try to prevent them from growing up to be someone the parents don’t want them to be.
ReplyDeleteI have an friend that has a 2 year old boy. When he was a baby I wanted to buy him this pink shirt that said “Real men wear pink” I thought it was the cutest thing I had seen in a long time but my friend absolutely refused to dress her boy in a pink shirt. Her husband fears that if they show him that pink is ok then he won’t grow up to play sports or be manly. I was astonished like somehow dressing a baby boy was going to alter the way he lived the rest of his life, like the color blue and green were somehow going to make him into a top list athlete. Children should be able to express themselves through toys, if we tell them what they can and can’t play with then we are not allowing them to express themselves and their interests.
I don't have children, I'm never around children and since the advent of TiVO, I don't watch commercials anymore and haven't for years. I believe that most people, out of habit or lessons learned from family members, buy pink for girls and blue for boys. Isn't there even a poem about it? I think men are more concerned with whether their sons play with dolls or play dress up and I agree with Nik that this is probably a homophobic reponse.
ReplyDeleteI also believe that parents never want their kids to be different - they probably feel it's so difficult to navigate everything, that adding what they see as an oddity to their child's make-up would make their life hell. I remember my parents telling me that to date someone of a different race would be difficult for me - they didn't mind, of course - but it would be hard on me having to deal with bigots. I think the majority of parents would be embarrassed if their child chose the toys from the "wrong" pile. I think that is a major issue with toy-choice and children - it's the parents' hang ups that really get in the way.
I'm sure the media or ad agencies play a huge role in marketing of toys to the "appropriate" child. But their job is to sell the most of their product and society sees girls playing with Barbie, not boys - so why bother trying to market to boys - it's not the demographic.
Could we change the demographic of particular toys? I really think it would be a tough sell and companies don't want to waste time or money on that.
I absolutely feel that a large amount of toys are gender specific and mainly geared towards boys or girls. Many people will push their girls towards the Barbie Dolls and other pretty pink products, while the boys are encouraged to purchase trucks and action figures. However I have to admit that there are some toys that are starting to blur those gender lines, such as LEAPFROG LEPSTERS and various other learning type toys. They will usually undermine their small progress by coloring the exterior blue or pink, but I still feel it is a small step in the right direction. I think many advances in technology are starting to make gender a non existent issue.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Tiffany: "Real Men Wear Pink"...is wearing that supposed to make the kid gay? It is those kind of homophobic fears that drive a lot of strict gender enforcing. I firmly believe sexual orientation is something that is on the genetic level and cannot be changed or learned, nor is it some kind of disease. There is so much evidence out there in the scientific and research world about hormone levels in the womb that back such a theory up. You are absolutely right how it is in this matter that children have their already very limited freedom infringed upon.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Nik's original post: It's funny that you said you were always steered towards action figures, footballs and hockey pucks (most notable male sports) because it reminds me of something that happened in our family a few years ago. My brothers and i grew up doing sports all our lives and while we could pretty much play any sport we wanted i think it made our parents happy that we (espcially the boys were in sports). Then one day my brother who always played football came home from school and said that he was going to take orchestra classes and he was going to learn to play the violin. My parent looked at him as if he was sick and was going to snap out of it but he was completly serious. Her tried it for a while and was actaully good and enjoyed it but because he was being scruitinized so badly by my dad and the other guys on the football team he gave it up. While you say you were always kinds of lead into (notably male sports) and you stuck with it you kind of, in ways, made it easy for them they didnt have to force you into or out of something. Its disappointing that while my brother did not give up football for violin in the end he ended up giving up something that he truely was interested in and good at just to please my dad and the guys on the football team.
ReplyDeleteI believe parents encourage girls to look at girls’ toys and boys at boys’ toys because this how society divides things. Also, large numbers of people encourage their kids in that way because they are afraid that society might look at them more different than the rest of the people. If one group changed these rules other people will look at them in different way. This is not only in the US but I believe it is the same in every country. One of the reasons, I think parents don’t let boys play with girls’ toys and the opposite because when kids get use to something when they are young, they will be attached to it when they grow up. Like if a girl plays with boys toys when she grew up she will rather hang out with boys more than girls, and from that she will start to talk like them and act the same way as they do. The same thing with boys if they play with dolls, to enjoy playing with dolls they have to play with girls.
ReplyDeleteKids at young age don’t know the differences between the toys, as long as it is fun for them they will pick it up. In this part is where the role of the parents start by either saying good stuff “it is so nice, it is fun to play with it” if the toy is right for the gender and bad things “it’s not cute, it doesn’t look fun” if it is not for that gender. By doing this in several times the child will start to know what toy to pick. Media also plays in important role because when they advertise about a toy they will show the right gender playing with it.
I remember when my sister was young, every time she wants to play with my brothers’ toys which is two years older than her, my mom will yells at her and tells her to go play in her dolls. Also, my sister is not allowed to be around my brother when his friends are over, because my mom doesn’t want to hang out with and start to act like boys.
The behavior you observed from the parents at the yardsale is a typical response given to a child when he/she is interested in a toy not considered gender preferred regardless of the location in which they're making the selection.
ReplyDeleteAs parents, some people are programmed to believe that toys/clothes that are gender specific should not be entertained by the opposite sex out of fair of what society may label their child ("tomboy" or "gay").
Very few like to go against the grain or walk to beat of a different drum, and those that do should be applauded.
I do believe the toys we're exposed to as children, have an impact on our growth from a gender perspective. I have a co-worker who is the only girl with four brothers and although she's feminine, she's not a "girlie girl". She doesn't really wear make-up or style her hair in a particular fashion or nor does she care to do a lot of girlie things (but she's still attractive). All of her brothers including her self were athletes, so she's into taking care of her body through running (marathons)and likes activities such as fishing, skiing and camping. She's not afraid of bugs and things that may gross-out a typical chic, basically don't gross her out. She always refers to growing up in household full of men and contributes having lot's of male friends in college to the fact that she can relate well to men from her experiences at home.
I also have a male friend who grew up in a smaller household as an only child around all women (mom, grandmother & aunts). He displays male qualities but has female traits as well. He's very aware of his appearance, alway's clean, neat and a great listener. He's artistic & creative into paintings, drawings, baking, shopping and misc. chit chat. Someone that I know alot of women are interested in because he's approachable, friendly and very easy to get along with.
I say all of this to reaffirm that a childs, environment, choice of toys and role models have an impact on the overall gender perspective. When parents select the toys without giving a child a choice they're shaping the childs mind to fit what society say's is the "norm" without allowing them to explore and figure out "gender" for themselves.
I have a 13 year old daughter (an only child) but my sister has two boys that are 14 and 16 years of age. Up until about 4 years ago, my daughter and nephews grew up under the same roof since birth, many referred to them as her brother-cousins because they grew-up like siblings. Because the boys out numbered her 2 to 1, male toys dominated the house but my sister and I never restricted them from playing with each other's things. That may have something to do with the fact that I'm from a family of 5, (2 girls and 3 boys) so the little toys that we did have we shared.
In my opinion, as children grow older and their experiences increase they choose for themselves what toys they'd rather play with leaving less restrictions by parent(s). Society always played a huge part in dictating "gender" roles through television, radio and magazine and still do today. However, some individuals don't allow those implied "gender" roles to apply to them, refusing accept societial labels.
The behavior you observed from the parents at the yard sale is a typical response given to a child when he/she is interested in a toy not considered gender preferred regardless of the location in which they're making the selection.
ReplyDeleteAs parents, some people are programmed to believe that toys/clothes that are gender specific should not be entertained by the opposite sex out of fair of what society may label their child ("tomboy" or "gay").
Very few like to go against the grain or walk to beat of a different drum, and those that do should be applauded.
I do believe the toys we're exposed to as children, have an impact on our growth from a gender perspective. I have a co-worker who is the only girl with four brothers and although she's feminine, she's not a "girlie girl". She doesn't really wear make-up or style her hair in a particular fashion or nor does she care to do a lot of girlie things (but she's still attractive). All of her brothers including her self were athletes, so she's into taking care of her body through running (marathons) and likes activities such as fishing, skiing and camping. She's not afraid of bugs and things that may gross-out a typical chic, basically don't gross her out. She always refers to growing up in household full of men and contributes having lot's of male friends in college to the fact that she can relate well to men from her experiences at home.
I also have a male friend who grew up in a smaller household as an only child around all women (mom, grandmother & aunts). He displays male qualities but has female traits as well. He's very aware of his appearance, always clean, neat and a great listener. He's artistic & creative into paintings, drawings, baking, shopping and misc. chit chat. Someone that I know a lot of women are interested in because he's approachable, friendly and very easy to get along with.
I say all of this to reaffirm that a childs, environment, choice of toys and role models have an impact on the overall gender perspective. When parents select the toys without giving a child a choice they're shaping the childs mind to fit what society say's is the "norm" without allowing them to explore and figure out "gender" for themselves.
I have a 13 year old daughter (an only child) but my sister has two boys that are 14 and 16 years of age. Up until about 4 years ago, my daughter and nephews grew up under the same roof since birth, many referred to them as her brother-cousins because they grew-up like siblings. Because the boys out numbered her 2 to 1, male toys dominated the house but my sister and I never restricted them from playing with each other's things. That may have something to do with the fact that I'm from a family of 5, (2 girls and 3 boys) so the little toys that we did have we shared.
In my opinion, as children grow older and their experiences increase they choose for themselves what toys they'd rather play with leaving less restrictions by parent(s). Society always played a huge part in dictating “gender” roles through television, radio and magazine and still does today. However, some individuals don't allow those implied "gender" roles to apply to them, refusing accept societal labels.
May 21, 2009 7:49 PM
I find this very interesting and insightful. Parents even, "nowadays" are still for the most part gender stereotyping toys for their children. These parents are not the only ones to "blame". Television (media) for the most part is still showing commercials with girls loving their dolls and "girlie things" and boys using nerf guns and trucks (again for the most part). It's just like the teenage girls relating to the skinny model on TV and in print. These children want to emulate the children on T.V. and those specific toys to what they need to have. It's almost what is "expected" of them. It's how most of us fall into the gender role model syndrome. Even though we have moms working outside the home, they are essentially running the household as well. There are some exceptions to this rule; some by choice and others because it's just the way it is.
ReplyDeleteAre things changing? Slowly, very slowly. I have no idea why. Girls have higher expectations than they did years ago in school. Their goal is no longer to attend college just to find a husband. But even with this change of mindset, it still really comes down to the nature/nurture theory. I feel that if there is a strong mother figure - showing that girls can get dirty and play with trucks and become a construction worker. Also in the same respect boys should be accepted as well, if they chose play with dolls and become a nurse. This virtue can only come to fruition if the father figure is able to cope with staying at home with the children because the wife earns more money - those parents would be the ideal role models for both sexes of children.
Why do advertisers play up the old way of thinking - girls and boys play with gender specific toys - I don't know why except that it just sells. How do we break this mold? The old cliche - "don't mess with success" - "if it ain't broke - don't fix it" will make this a difficult task for society - but it can be done with educating, parents, school professions and the media.
I only have one child, a girl, who was differently a tomboy growing up. I know I dressed her up in dresses as long as I could, which I thought would be until she reached fourth or fifth grade. She refused to wear them at about the age of six and I ended up shopping in the boys department for the next five years. I never forced her to conform to what society thought and when she wanted to cut her hair off at six, I let her. She was often mistaken for a boy. I did not have a problem with this, but what bothered me was how she could not stand up for herself. I remember getting a phone call from her coach from basketball camp requesting that I come get her because she was very upset. When I arrived, he informed me that one of the boys was name calling her and she would not tell him who it was. He stated that he felt bad because she should not be the one going home. When I got her in the car she informed me that this boy was saying she was a boy. She denied it and he proceeded to tell her if she was not a boy then she was a faggot. I believe the real problem was the fact that she could outplay most of the boys on the court. I was furious and told her she should have pulled down her pants and ask if he saw anything hanging there. I know this was probably not the best way to handle it, but it brought a laugh.
ReplyDeleteToys have a big impact upon our growth from a gender perspective. Most of the toys that are in the marketplace can be gender specific. Toys are targeted towards a particular market; whether it’s for a girl or boy. There are very few universal or unisex toys available. Even if they are universal, there are usually different colors that are aimed towards each gender. For example, a yo-yo is a universal toy. But there are many different colors to choose from like red, blue, pink, green, etc. But this now raises the question that colors are also gender specific. Boy’s colors are usually blue, red, black, and green. Girl’s colors are usually pink, purple, and yellow.
ReplyDeleteToys are marketed specifically to a gender. Advertisements and commercials usually have a specific gender that they will target. The goal of the marketing tactics is gain attention from that particular gender to capture the sale of the toy. For example, flyers for Toys R Us will have pictures of girls playing with dolls or pictures of boys playing with cars. These ads never have pictures of girls playing with cars or trucks nor do they have boys playing with dolls.
Toys are promoted to children and their parents based on gender specific. The media markets these advertisements for the toys revealing which gender it is specifically for. The media reinforces which gender the toys are for and society follows the guidelines.
-Nicole
Hi Tonya,
ReplyDeleteSo envious of you right now! :)
I'd have to agree with Nicole on this one...women do prim themselves to appeal to the opposite sex but ultimately I think we do it for self gratification first. Not sure how comfortable I'd be in my own skin if I'd just let my body hair grow everywhere (summer, winter, spring or fall) or walked around looking unkept.
Keep up your investigative work while on vacation and continue to report any new findings. Enjoy!
In response to Kesha's post:
ReplyDeleteI do agree that there are some toys that are non-gender like some technology toys, as well as toys for infant-toddlered aged children. For some reason, once children enter preschool - and I know this first-hand because I was a preschool teacher for 15 years, parents expect their boys to play in the block corner and not be in the "housekeeping area". It seems to me that the parents of the my female students were more accepting if their girls played with the trucks and blocks then boys playing with in the so-called girl areas. I tried to keep my classroom, non-gendered by having areas with posters of children of both sexes playing in each specific areas. As I stated previously, it's not only up to the parents not gender "segregate" the children and what they play with, it's also up to educators.
Response to Teandra's Blog
ReplyDeleteTaryn M said...
You know, it's funny. When I opened your blog I saw that picture of these two gorgeous people. And then I read what you wrote about people saying she looked too much like a boy. She is absolutely beautiful and it never occurred to me that she was too masculine for a hetero man. That's absurd. I loved your thoughtful quesions at the end, something I'll definitely think about.
Taryn
Response to Nik's first post
ReplyDeleteTaryn M said... Hey, Nik. Taryn here. My major is Liberal Studies so that I could take classes that interested me since I'm only going to school for personal growth (ick - I hate when people use that saying "personal growth"). I work at Merck and just do this for fun!
Posted by Taryn M at 9:56 AM 0 comments
Friday, May 22, 2009
ReplyDelete2nd Eureka Posting
So, I've been watching American Idol now for about four years. This year the finale came down to two distinctly different men: Kris Allen, a laid back Arkansas gentleman with a nice voice for acoustic guitar who can change up a song to make it his own; and Adam Lambert, a showman whose vocal range is incredible and his choice of staging, clothes and song choice were perfect week after week. For the entire season, Adam Lambert was touted to win American Idol, hands down. Little by little, Kris Allen crept into the hearts and ears of America and when Ryan Seacrest announced the winner, Idol enthusiasts seemed shocked that Kris Allen bested Adam Lambert.
Unfortunately, many people thought that Adam Lambert (crowned "Glambert" by the media for his "guyliner" and flashy clothing) lost out to Kris because America thinks Adam is gay. No one actually knows whether he's gay or straight or bi - but who cares? This was about singing, right? Oh, right, I'm talking about American Idol where the judges think the show is about them. Adam Lambert is a confident young man, who can "sing his face off" to quote Randy Jackson, and who has side-stepped the media's question about his sexuality. Although many people may have seen the picture on the internet of Adam kissing another man and assumed he was gay, he has never spoken publicly about it. I heard him last night say "It really isn't anyone's business, it is?" to a reporter.
During the post-finale press junket, Kris was asked, very delicately, whether he thought he won because the votes of the third place finisher, another Christian male, went to Kris. Kris told the reporter that he and Adam had discussed it, that he was sorry that anyone thought that, and both he and Adam were hoping the voting was based on their singing, rather than on anyone's sexuality.
Adam Lambert didn't win, although from an overall standpoint, he is probably the most talented contestant the show has seen in its eight years. I really like Kris - he's adorable, humble, gentlemanly (sorely lacking in today's society) but if I had to say who was more talented, I would say Adam - he can do so many different genres and his vocal range is great. The funny thing is, Kris feels the same way: he felt Adam deserved the title as well.
I hope America wasn't voting based upon sexuality....does anyone else have an opinion?
Taryn